Tuesday, July 04, 2006

i give up

I don't think my computer is ever going to be fixed and I'm sad. Not for that reason alone.

The upscale phone domination woman hired me last week, after we did a little bit of roleplay on the phone in which she pretended to be a businessman with a small-penis humiliation fetish and I was a bitchy secretary. It was fun. She told me I did a great job and wants me to start this week. I'm really excited, with the small, anxious caveat that I promised my parents weeks ago that we would get together this weekend, as I will be out of town for my birthday later on this month. So the clan and I have reservations at a lakeside cabin halfway between their stomping grounds and mine, and I will not be available to yell at businessmen with small penises Friday - Sunday. I e-mailed her this info, and got back a terse response: "Fine. I'll be in touch in a few days." And now I'm horribly half-certain that she's going to fire me before ever giving me a chance. I don't know. I'm in one of the shrinking-doubt phases I go through periodically. I worked last night for the first time in two weeks, and BOMBED. I let way too many assholes take up way too much of my time for free. And yes, that's my fault, no one else's. But I love it when you anonymous commentators point that stuff out. Really. I love it.

Anyways. I'll take my meds and hope for the best, and more than likely be fine in a day or two.


Sixty said...

Grace: See me if you're interested in a donation toward a new laptop. One hand washes ... oh never mind.

Brad K. said...

Try listening to a bit of country music. There is a fairly new song that goes 'If you're going through hell, don't slow down, maybe you can get through before the devil knows your there.'

As for the work, do a little Quality Assurance. Every set, ask yourself, 'Did I accomplish what I wanted?', 'What should have worked better?', and 'How can I make the next set work better?' Make a list, and check it after each set. When in doubt, pick one or two people that understand what you are trying to do, that you respect their judgement (probably not customers), and ask them what you could do better. Keep it brief. Keep a list, and review at the end of each night. Every night is different, so it makes sense to double check your goals every so often. Then you can say "I bombed that set!" and still bring off the rest of the night. QA can help anyone -- call it feedback, or review, or whatever, the more we try to learn and improve as we go, the less effort we waste .. on assholes that aren't contributing! lol!