Monday, September 18, 2006

john's speech

Hey, come over here. Yeah, c'mere. S'down, OK? Wow, you're pretty. Hey, how long you been dancing? Two years, huh? So you're an experienced girl, right? OK, cause I need to talk to a girl with some experience. This is the thing. I just got off probation, OK, and I want to have some fun, you know what I mean? I mean sometime you just want to have a cookie, right? Like you just think, hey, I've been a good boy -- I should get a cookie. OK?

So this is what I want, OK, and I will give you a hundred dollars if you will tell me, if you can get me, or you can tell me where, some coke. You know what I mean? OK? Oh, come on, you know where to get it. The other girl knows. Look at me. Look in my face. You don't know? OK, fine. No, sit down.

You're so cute, aren't you? Hey, take that top off. What? OK, dance then. Start now. I don't care. I've got plenty of money. If you can tell me where to get some coke I'll give you anything you want. Hundred dollars. Two hundred. It doesn't matter. Listen, they've been piss-testing me for two years and I just wanna have some fun, now, OK? Is that so bad?

Oh, wow. Put those tits in my face. C'mon, closer. What the fuck, no one's looking. Can I suck 'em? No? OK. No, keep dancing. I wanna take you home tonight. Can I take you home tonight? Please. Please, I just wanna have some fun. I've got six hundred dollars and you can have all of it, I don't care. Why not? Why not? Don't you like me? Is something wrong with me? C'mon. I don't wanna get you pregnant or anything. I just wanna fuck you. I just wanna look at your face when you're cumming, like it was a movie and we were in Russia and you thought you were about to die and it was the last time you were ever going to have sex, that is just so, so, so...

C'mon, I thought you liked me. Don't you like me? I'm a good guy. Don't you think I'm a good guy? Listen, I used to be a quarterback. Yup. High school. Yeah. Quarterback. I'm the guy that counted off for the other guys, that's me, the guy that counted off. The guy in charge. I'm a good guy. I can see that you're different. I can see that. And I don't want you just for sex. Other guys, they want you just for sex. You know that, don't you? Life is short. Life is so short and pretty soon you won't know what happened to you, and a guy like me is going to come along once in your life. I hate to tell you this, but after me it's all going to be downhill. You are never going to meet anyone again who cares about you like I do, OK?

You're sure you can't get me some coke? The girl earlier got me some. C'mon. I just want a little bit more. Just for the drive home, OK, because I've had a lot to drink, and I need something so I can drive. No, don't call a taxi for me. If you do that, I will kill you. I've gotta drive home tonight. Cause I -- here, c'mere, closer, I don't wanna say this out loud -- cause my daughter is with me this weekend, OK? My little daughter and she is just ten years old and I just got off probation this weekend. I waited till she was asleep and then I left, and right now she is there at the house all by herself. Do you think I'm a bad father? You probably think I'm the worst guy on earth. I'm not. There's a lot worse guys out there than me. But I need you to sit right here while I walk to the door, and every once in a while I'm gonna look back over my shoulder. Don't call the police on me. Don't tell anybody anything. I'm gonna look back at you, and if I see you talking to anybody, just remember that I know your name. I know your name and I know where you work, and I could hurt you. I know people that would kill you for fifty bucks, no questions asked. I know people. So look at me. Look at me in the face and tell me you won't tell anybody about me. Look at me.

I knew you wouldn't. You're different. You're nice. I like you. I'm gonna come back and see you, OK? I'm gonna come back and you'll come over and sit with me and dance for me again. Won't you? Won't you do that? You will, won't you? Won't you? Won't you?


Anonymous said...

How can you say no to that?

Anonymous said...

WOW how tempted were you to run away with that ? A drug addicted father of the year still clinging to high school glory and for a clincher a death threat. AWESOME

Brad K. said...

How sad. I didn't see anything about big tips, paying for dances, etc. Joe is not just a loser, but a piker, too.

Oh, and "Hi, Joe! I hope the People You Know hear about this. How discreet."

Sad about the little girl at home. With the line this guy has, it might be optimistic to believe there is a home, with or without the daughter. But a sad thought, anyway.

desert diamond said...

Gah! Except for the parts that were stripping-specific, that post reminded me of every tweak on a bike I ever met.

patrin said...

Oh my.

Anonymous said...

man. the underclass. what are you gonna do? baby, i say you either marry the gut or get your shit together. the fact that you blog about it and you're "taking notes" does not excuse the fact you're a stripper. stop stripping, is what i'd do. otherwisse keep stripping and stop blogging.

i actually love you,


Grace said...

Dear Anonymous,
Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you just stop reading my blog? Since I happen to enjoy blogging, and stripping, and blogging about stripping, I don't see any reason for me to change what I'm doing.

You're the one with the problem, so you're the one who should take action.


Grace said...

Oh, wait. I just saw that love me. Well, I guess that excuses whatever other mindless bullshit you spew out whenever you put hands to keyboard, so we're cool now.

Wuvs oo too.


Anonymous said...


If I ever had a customer like that, I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry...