For the last two nights I've dreamed about work. Weird, because I haven't been to work in almost a week -- hideous weather, a gnarly throat infection, and a doting boyfriend having conspired to keep me home.
The first night I dreamt I was dancing at a club darker and weirder and seedier even than the Crazy Lady where I made my stripping debut so long ago. The stage was tiered like a wedding cake and painted shiny red and shiny black like Japanese lacquer. Being on stage embarrassed me in a way it never has in real life. Jay was there, an old customer of mine -- former Pittsburgh Pirate, current talent scout, prodigious philanderer and cokehead extrordinaire. Seeing him made me feel safe. I've certainly never felt that way in real life, either.
Last night I was in the same club, more or less. To get to the DJ's booth you went through the locker-room. Men's Club in Dallas was set up this way, too. A body had recently been dismembered and stashed in a locker. Blood had leaked out and gotten all over the floor. Shiny red, like Japanese lacquer. A crew was there, cleaning it up. They were in my way as I tried to get to the DJ booth to pick music. I didn't want to get blood on my shoes. It wasn't horrifying, just another hassle. The body parts looked like mannequin pieces.
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2 comments:
It's funny how in dreams things that would be quite traumatic when we're awake seem like nothing more than a small observation or a bit of an annoyance.
What strange dreams, though. The tiered, lacquered stage seems symbolic for being put on display, which strippers are. As for the bloody mannequin murder, um...I'm a bit lost on that one. lol
The dreams. If it is true, that we are everyone in our dreams, then 'Jay' is really you, and making you feel safe is a protective feeling. You feel other girls are safer, when you are working.
You are feeling threatened (dismembered body), feel you are organized and competent (cleaning the mess), while you worry that you are overlooking how you are threatened, that you may be losing parts of yourself.
Sounds like simple 'mid life crisis' to me. Maybe look for a different job -- insurance sales, hotel conscierge, movie, radio, or TV advertising sales. Maybe dog trainer? Enlist in the Coast Guard? Or maybe just some blood-red heels..
Get out, do some walking (do laps with the old fogeys at Wal-Mart or the nearest mall).
Enjoy!
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