Thursday, October 26, 2006

prick city

On Monday my travel companion, whom I'll call Tommi, and I applied at the Men's Club of Dallas, which is one of the Big Kahuna clubs here in Big D. It is spectacular inside; the only club I've seen to rival it is the Scores in Vegas, and this was perhaps even a little glitzier -- lots of gold and mirrors and velvet curtains and a courtyard with statue of Venus de Milo with exageratedly large boobs. We were hired on the spot, which I guess says something nice about our pretty faces and/or Tommi's hilariously large breasts.

The first two nights I made what I'd make on very best nights at home, and this is a Monday and a Tuesday we're talking about. One the other hand, the money is very grueling to make. The men here are big, angry, carnivorous, and carved out of something very dense of hard. They are impossible to talk to, educated only to the point of profitability, devoid of interests or interest, and apparently take no pleasure in life beyond coming to a dressed-up titty joint and sulking by the bar. I don't usually have a problem making conversation. I can bullshit about a variety of pleasant subjects, including football, golf, music, computers, art, religion, horses, my ass, blah didddly blah. But this was not a club where personality seemed to be at a premium. Looking perfect, sitting still, and smiling seemed to be a profitable skill set. Yikes. I felt like I was milking every last dollar out of rock. Please understand, I am a stripper who generally like customers, enjoys customers, sometimes becomes overly emotionally involved with customers. And so far, I have not met one guy I could stand the sight of after thirty seconds. The possibe exception was Peter, the fruity drunk from Western Massachusettes (Sixty, I was trying to figure out for an hour if this was you) who was amusing in the way that Ivy League graduates born into entirely too much money can be amusing, if you do the aural equivalent of squinting and crossing your eyes.

Yesterday, the club required us to work day shift as part of the new-girl hazing. It was lamentable. Girls who had worked there for years and had regulars were banking, I know. A blond girl named Star with perfect breasts and zero body fat, tanned the color of tea, was floating around with tributes of jewelry and Godiva chocolates which is an everyday thing for her, I guess. Kudos. But it was not for me. We had meant to stay and work a double shift til at least midnight. I left at 8pm with the kind of money I used to make back in my weeping-stripper days at the Crazy Lady. Tommi was hanging on, so I walked back the motel right around the corner and called C. and cried for an hour. At the end of that hour, Tommi too trailed home defeated, which makes me feel better, because she is an astounding and tireless Superstripper, so if things weren't working for her either then it wasn't just me.

Tonight it's a big Fuck You to the Men's Club and off to check out Baby Dolls, which has a reputation as an enormous emporium of wickedness, but girls have told me that there's easy money to skim off the top without having to do any sucky-sucky. We'll probably return to the Men's Club for the weekend, unless Baby Dolls is just astonishing.

I miss my boyfriend. Post me, I'm lonely.


aija said...

Hope you have better luck over the week, Grace :)

Rocky Raccoon said...

If only I was in Dallas. Of course my girlfriend wouldn't be too proud of me. I'll be down there again soon though...

Cath said...

Oh my god Scores is awesome. My (now) boyfriend took me there for our first date. Bought me a lap-dancer and many drinks. It was gorgeous, and for me is such a romantic memory! lol.

Have fun on your excursion Grace - make lots and wow them all with your charm!

Brad K. said...


Don't be lonely, find an outlet for your attention. Find the educational channel, audit a few classes in sociology, literature, history, or education. Maybe hit the Hobby Lobby and get a starters knitting kit. If knitting is good enough for US sailors, the merchant marine, and open seas fishermen, it might be something to while away the time, quietly, occupy your attention to keep your pattern as intended.

Another possibility is a couple of good books. I like the Kelley Armstrong 'horror' books -- actually supernatural, not really horror. Bitten is the first, and they are all good reads. If you want a book or three that you don't have to worry about finishing, there are the lo-o-ong Jean Auel books, starting with 'Clan of the Cave Bear', and no, don't skip the book and watch the movie with Darryl Hannah. A shorter read is 'CDB' by the guy that wrote Shrek, William Steig. The book 'Forest Gump' is great. At least as good as the movie with Tom Hanks, the book is a different story. I like science fiction, such as David Drake's 'With the Lightnings' and especially David Weber's 'On Basilisk Station', the first of a great many novels on the career of Honor Harrington. For some of the sillier plots, I like Frank Frezza's 'MacLendon's Syndrome' (space going disease that happens to act a bit like vampires, the hero stumbles from bat droppings to planet hero, 'No, don't dump number 2!'), and Christopher Stasheff's 'A Company of Stars' about a future theatre company dodging to play on colony planets. 'A Company of Stars' is a cross between history of theatre, very light science fiction, critique on censorship, and a zany cast of characters.

You have watched Demi Moore's movie, 'Strip Tease', haven't you? And her 'The Butcher's Wife'? What about 'Head Office' with Jane Seymour, Judge Reinhold, and Danny Devito, a takeoff on Michael Fox's 'Secret of My Success'. Don't miss the silly Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane brit comedy, 'Nuns on the Run', or Kelsey Grammer's 'Down Periscope'.

I imagine taking a pet with you would be great. Caring for a pet, having something that depends on you showing up regularly, can be very rewarding. Fish aren't as much fun to play with as a cat, dog, or snake, but you don't have to declare a modest fish bowl. When I left the Navy in Corpus Christi, TX, and my ex-wife and I drove to Tennessee, we brought a couple of gold fish with us. We had a 2 1/2 gallon bowl that we filled at night, and a gallon glass jar we half filled from the bowl during the day while driving. The fish kept easily -- the trick is to dechlorinate the water before pouring it over the fish, and never throw all the water away. Oh, and don't over feed -- if there is still food left after 10 minutes, you over fed -- clean the tank (pour off 1/2 the cleanest water to keep, catch the fish (done gently, this works best with the bare hand -- rinse your hands in salt water first -- the little nets tend to catch and tear the fins, not a big problem, but the hand *can* be gentler), and dump the water off the bottom. Don't use soap to clean anything in the bowl, rinse in salt water and rub clean. Rinse the salt off before putting the fish in. Gold fish don't require the water be heated. If you keep the water temp pretty constant, about 75-78 degrees F, gouramis are colorful *tropical* fish that also breathe at the surface of the water, and tend to do well in a bowl. x

Please don't leave the Men's Club, until you find out what makes the people there so withdrawn and bitter. Management has done something to establish (allow) that mood to prevail. This may be deliberate, because they figure that they make more profit that way, or inadvertant. But you may need to know what causes this prevalent mood, so you can avoid it when you open your own bar. Ooh! Something else you can do while traveling -- look into classes and information about owning and running a business! From accounting, to management principles, to marketing, to liquor, tobacco, business taxes, and performance licenses! Most will be available at the library or online. Once you figure out what they are doing to attract angry customers and to keep them that way, please let us know!

And if you really have to, there is '', where they give the definition of sudoku puzzles, rules of solving, and some strategies. Then there is '', which lets you play the puzzle, keeps times, etc. The options let you turn on 'pencil marks', for solving difficult puzzles. Or, for a role-playing game, 'Fate' at is a good dungeon game, fairly new, very well done, and you can play for hours in the 'free trial' version. The full thing is $20. Lots and lots of hours of entertainment.

One of the best $200 I spent for entertainment wasn't supposed to be for entertainment. I bought a used draft horse harness, and followed the instructions in the Draft Horse Primer to take all the straps and buckles apart, scrub it all up, inspect everything, and put it back together. That last step, putting it back together, took six weeks, I ended up getting the (free) Samson's harness catalog (great detailed drawings), studying the stage coach mural at the Phoenix, AZ airport, etc. But a leather horse harness would be a bit unwieldy in the sink, and a bear to lug around with the baggage. Pity.

For a few bucks you can hit a stationery store or Wal-Mart or somewhere, get some paper and envelopes, and write actual snail mail letters to C. Another way to organize thinking and direct your growth, would be to get a spiral or bound notebook, and keep a daily journal. I think what you put in the journal changes over time for most people, so what you decide to say each day will vary a lot over the first couple of months. Write about work, who you met, what you made, what seemed to work, what your moods are -- or how many green Ford cars you saw in the hour before you started work that day. Something about a journal, letters, or meditation, seem to encourage and clarify understanding.

For grins you might try designing and hand sewing a few outfits... At least you would know how they are made!


Sixty said...

"Fruity drunk"? I'll have you know I'm a spicy drunk, thank you very much.

No, I don't know what that means either, but what I'm getting at is it wasn't me. But ... cue eerie music ... my name is Peter. -Oh no, was I sleep-stripclubbing again? Nope, couldn't've been. One "Big D" to deal with is enough for me these days.